Time is moving fast! I thought last week was my week off from the newsletter! Good thing I actually pre-wrote this...well, the top portion at least.
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I was listening to The Stoic Coffee Break, as one does, and the chap was lauding the Stoics to be able to hold two truths at once without allowing one to cancel out the other. Some examples of our typical talk track: "I love my job but it's tiring." "My spouse is amazing but I need some 'me' time." "The Phillies suck but Schwarber is awesome."
These statements battle each other. The things that enables the battle is the word "but."
"No...its's the fact that Aaron Nola is a home run waiting to happen but Schwarber is a must watch."
"Actually, Nola is a HR waiting to happen AND Schwarber is a must watch."
That switch. One word. It gives us a whole new allowance to look at the situation differently.
And the ability to hold seemingly opposite views as true at once is the essence of Temperance. Balance. Discipline to not subscribe to one and eviscerate the other. As Obi-Wan told Anakin, "only a Sith deals in absolutes" then he proceeded to CUT OFF HIS REMAINING HUMAN LIMBS!!! SPOILER ALERT.
But a struggle makes for good drama and good internal mental balance. But is it a struggle? Or just an unsettled conflict of multiple truths?
This is why Stoicism isn't the easiest thing in the world to follow. As humans there is something satisfying about a "situation" being resolved. Done and dusted. Another thing checked off the list. A tie in the NFL is pretty gross. We don't like that. So let's settle the score. Winner. Loser. Unambiguous.
But temperance requires us to live in a state of limbo and moderation. To hold multiple ideas as accurate and valid.
"But I don't want to!"
What other things don't you want to do that make sense for you to do? Many? Yea...this whole thing is about putting into words what you must do through logic and reason. And then acting upon it.
(Sorry, Aaron Nola, for catching strays. You have been a good Phillie for a long time.)
The best insights on enough come to us from the East. "When you realize there is nothing lacking," Lao Tzu says, "the whole world belongs to you."
— -- Ryan Holiday, Stillness is the Key
You’ll need patience and endurance and most of all love.
— -- Ryan Holiday, Courage is Calling
There is no taking in true love. With nothing to take, there’s nothing to expect and none of the suffering that results from the missed expectations, we all know from conditional love.
— -- Mo Gawdat, Solve for Happy
Rads Take
Well all 3 randomly selected quotes are building on each other this week. Holiday's two quotes on books on different subjects (peace and courage) and a non-Stoic Stoic in Mo noting that our expectations on the thing that actually matter is how we can grow to appreciate love.
But each of them really underscore what we should care about. It is not fancy cars, jewelry or even accomplishments. Yes, the Stoics push for growth and excellence but underlying everything is the importance of love.
We know they are big on the dichotomy of control, internals and externals. The best of all internal things - which is the domain of all things we should hang our happiness on - is love.
Now Holiday quoting Lao Tzu (I had to look him up -- founder of Taoism---I am not an expert) but that quote really smacks of "enough is never enough for he for which enough is too little." What is enough? If it is what you have, then you aren't lacking as Laozi said (told you I looked it up!).
And "enough" is an expectation. Mo Gawdat, in a different quote but his main happiness equation, said that your level of happiness is equal to your perception of events minus your expectations.
The Beatles even said the love you take is equal to the love you make. Love is all you need! She loves you...yea! Yea! YEA!!! So all these dudes out there saying how important love is.
"Pffft...losers. And don't the Stoics know that they are supposed to not give a crap about anything?"
Stoics give a lot of craps about the important things. The essentials. Their locus of control. Put love put, get love back.